The Cambridge Geek

Audio Drama Debut - Transcript - S02E16

All of the words said out loud for S02E16 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.

F/X - A ferocious ticking and sword clashes happen in the background.

THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there! Quick, get down here!

Sorry for making you crouch under the table, but it's not really safe out there at the moment.

F/X - Pleasing ding.

THE FICTION FACTCHECKER: This is untrue! The Library of Audio Fiction's dramas, books, stories and actual plays are superior!

THE LIBRARIAN: Our factchecker, you know, the mechanical device that the Director put in place to ensure the information we gave out was valid, has had its first encounter with the factchecker from the non-fiction Library. And apparently they're fighting.

F/X - Pleasing ding.

THE NON-FICTION FACTCHECKER: That statement is incorrect! Your processor is so inefficient, you need to enable your auxiliary fans.

F/X - Whoosh.

THE LIBRARIAN: I honestly have no idea where it got those doughnuts.

This is a bit of a surprise, really. The factcheckers tend to stick to their own Libraries, so they've never interacted before. But I wanted to get hold of some podcasts that combined fiction and non-fiction, so I sent it out to the shed, for this Australian show combining fiction and essays, this literary show involving poetry, and this show with creepypasta vs real life horror.

Unfortunately, it looks like someone in the nonfiction library also sent out their factchecker, and whenever they meet they enter combat. Something to do with subjective vs objective reality.

THE FICTION FACTCHECKER: This is untrue. You are superior in only one respect. You are better at dying.

THE LIBRARIAN: Anyway, I've got the cameras set up, so I can focus on you. If we stay under this table, we should be safe while they come to a consensus. Whatever that means.

I guess you're here for trailers? I should have four available here.

First, Apollyon. In the early 22nd century, the Apollyon virus wiped out 75% of the world’s population, and now most of the world is governed by the International Conglomerate of Research Scientists. Dr. Theo Ramsey is an ICRS research scientist who may have just discovered an effective vaccine for Apollyon, but the stakes to get the vaccine to the public are higher than she ever imagined.

[CLIP - Apollyon]

THE LIBRARIAN: Then, Greenborne. Alan Godwin, the landlord of The Fox and Dragon, an ex-detective inspector and a real rough diamond, is a tough, streetwise, but honest man with a copper’s nose for trouble. His village, Greenborne, is slowly waking from the long nightmare of Covid-19. It starts in the summer of 2021, when the entire country (and world) is adjusting to the new ‘normal’.

The majority of the UK population has been vaccinated and for now, the virus is considered to be under control. The story begins as a major figure in the community, Evie, makes her return from a long Covid-19 imposed exile, threatening to ruffle feathers...

[CLIP - Greenborne]

F/X - Pleasing ding.

THE NON-FICTION FACTCHECKER: Your statement is false. That was only a scratch.

THE LIBRARIAN: Then, The Trial of Memory Fairchild. An anxious medical student in a modern-magical world discovers she can do necromancy when she accidentally kills a patient and brings them back to life. There's just one problem: necromancy is illegal.

[CLIP - The Trial of Memory Fairchild]

THE LIBRARIAN: And finally, The Gloom. An investigative journalist uncovers clues surrounding a decades-old cold case, where she eventually learns the horrifying truth about a systemic cover-up tied to her own past.

[CLIP - The Gloom]

THE LIBRARIAN: Right, that's your lot for this week. If you're interested in the result of this conflict , check our twitter @AudioDramaDebut, but I suggest heading out for now, as it looks like they're getting closer and...

THE DIRECTOR: Cease!

F/X - The clashing instantly stops.

THE LIBRARIAN: Oh, hello Director. I was just...

THE DIRECTOR: Why are these two factcheckers fighting? Are you trying to do a Robot War?

THE LIBRARIAN: Well I...

THE DIRECTOR: I have told you, so many times, you do not do a Robot War! And you, leave!

THE LIBRARIAN: Anyway, cheerio!