All of the words said out loud for S02E18 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped. Fire gently crackles in the background.
THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there. Come in, and... stop, don't cross that! I mean, please come in and...come no further! Sorry, sorry, this is unexpectedly difficult.
Tell you what, ignore everything I say after you step over that boundary, okay? Don't stop moving until you're in the visitors chair. It's over there, next to the eclairs. Don't try and eat those by the way, they're wax.
Okay, get one foot ready, and...go!
You, stop there!
How dare you!
Did you not see the rope?!
It's velvet, and therefore sacrosanct you buffoon!
No one should ever cross the...ah good, you're in the chair.
Now, I'm aware you'll be wondering what that was all about. You see, one of our curators died recently, and she was considered such a driving force in the Library that it was decided that her office would be kept for posterity. You know the deal, they tidy the office, remove all the perishables, and then hide it all away behind glass and velvet ropes.
Unfortunately, there's been a cock-up in logistics, and they've got themselves confused as to whose office is whose. So while hers sits getting slowly dustier, mine has been closed off.
And when you work somewhere like this for as long as I have, you tend to get a bit focused on the necessity of keeping visitors away from certain areas. So you take the ropes very seriously. And since my office is now technically, even if incorrectly off limits, it's remarkably hard to get myself, or other people, in here. I tend to need a good scotch to get myself over the rope in the mornings.
As per my usual approach to life's little problems, I've been trying to get myself in a better mindset about the whole thing with this show about a museum's special services coordinator, this show about a museum's odd gift shop, and this show that has a somewhat unusual audio guide.
I've put in an official complaint, so I'm hoping that it will be sorted relatively quickly. The lucky thing is that even though they've impounded most of my things, they've left behind the trailer machine, so I can still do you four trailers. Let's see what we've got.
First, Wake of Corrosion. An indie audio drama set in a nightmare ridden, apocalyptic world. An unknown horror grips the country, forcing most of the remaining population into shelter. Tune into the broadcasts from Bunker A:12 and join Professor Ryan as he endeavours to find answers in the wreckage.
[CLIP - Wake of Corrosion]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then, Newfield. When High School Senior Jane Barnes moves to Newfield, she discovers the quaint New England town's cruel history has a surprising importance to her own life.
[CLIP - Newfield]
THE LIBRARIAN: And Ghost Town Killer. How do you catch a murderer who has already been killed? Paranormal Investigator Lilith Black searches for answers surrounding her sister`s death.
[CLIP - Ghost Town Killer]
THE LIBRARIAN: And finally The Day Everything Changed, a fiction podcast about two broken families navigating through a post-apocalyptic world threatened by the "sick" and other deadly scavengers in search of sanctuary.
[CLIP - The Day Everything Changed]
THE LIBRARIAN: Right, that's your lot for this week. Do me a favour, if you need to talk to me again, use our twitter, so I can avoid all of this rigmarole. It's @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!