All of the words said out loud for S02E22 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Generally excited crowd noises.
THE LIBRARIAN: Hello there, and welcome to the commentary box here, on this very special day, for the semi-final of this European competition.
I've been tucking into this fruit cake, which was sent in by one of our listeners in North Wales.
On the field in front of us, we've got England, playing as always in... probably red? And I suppose that means Denmark must be in white, as these two teams battle it out to get into the final of this audio fiction production challenge.
They've got through all of the previous stages fairly easily, with their individual actors, directors, sound editors and foley experts putting together some excellent dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things.
For instance, in the quarter finals, Denmark put together a show about a human entering an alien sports league, a show about the Angeles Soccer team, and a show about a health and safety superhero dealing with an overenthusiastic fan.
As always, we're not going to see all the parts of the productions they're putting together for this semi-final until the last whistle, but hopefully we'll see some wonderful displays as they start recording, editing, and the most difficult part of the competition, making convincing footsteps.
And as I look over to my left now, I can see the Danish team - John Smith, the Captain, Jane Wilson, for who this is likely a last competition, and the younger George Brown and Emily Jones bringing up the rear. They're just putting a scene together, with Brown riding that mike closely, as Smith and Jones...oh they're off!
That was quick, and it's Smith and Jones, Smith and Jones for Denmark, doing a lovely little bit of dialogue here, that's a question, that's a response, oh slight misstep there with that sideways glance, that won't come through on the audio, but we're coming now to the last romantic exclamation, and yes, yes, it's over the final line!
And Denmark have taken the points for that scene. Very nice little finish there.
But turning over now to the editing booth, where the young Maria Schmidt, having her first major competition for England, and Mette Jensen, something of an old hand, have just done their preliminary work, with eight plugins installed.
By tradition, they'll only use two of the plugins but everyone always downloads the full eight because there's a sale on.
So they begin, and Schmidt and Jensen for England, doing a nice one two, Schmidt selecting the takes and Jensen editing together the dialogue, cutting, pasting, a quick de-click and that, that, that's... yes!
That's the full scene put together, ready to be passed down the line for sound effects, where Lars Nielsen has assembled the gravel pit, and Peder Pedersen is ready to make those sounds, and he's got to be careful here, as it's an urgent running scene, and...oh no! He's tried to walk it in, and that's a bad stumble.
At this level of competition, we shouldn't see someone saying "We'll fix it in the edit". I think that's cost England points and possibly the match.
F/X - Whistle
And yes, that's the final whistle, so while points are being tallied, we'll have a quick commercial break for some trailers from our sponsors.
First, Pit of the West, a weird-western horror audio drama following a former bank robber who, after betraying his gang for a handful of gold, makes a deal with a mysterious benefactor to save his own skin. However, this deal leaves him marked with an evil curse, and he must wander the supernatural underbelly of America to rid himself of it, and perhaps, redeem his very soul.
[CLIP - Pit of the West]
THE LIBRARIAN: Then Whisperling, the story of Quinn Bell, a young girl who’s more comfortable speaking to the faeries she sees around her than to other humans. When her friend is accused of arson, and the faerie village outside her window is attacked by a mysterious horror, she struggles to respond. It’s all too much for one kid, and the spirit inhabiting her fox plush, to handle.
[CLIP - Whisperling]
THE LIBRARIAN: And The Final Clue. Some cases are ready to come out of the cold. All that’s needed is that one final clue.
[CLIP - The Final Clue]
THE LIBRARIAN: And finally The Liege Dossier. The strange and mysterious story of Aldon Trulane and the terrifying truth behind his sudden disappearance. Tune in to this weekly audio journal where our mystery host offers audio recordings, interviews, secret surveillance, and other clues leading us to the conclusion that no one is willing to accept.
[CLIP - The Liege Dossier]
THE LIBRARIAN: Right, that's your lot for this week. We're back just in time for the result, which went to VAR, that's the specialist voice acting and recording machine, and it's coming out and, oh, curses, it looks like the Danish Captain, John Smith is receiving the cup, so that's Denmark through to the final, and England sadly going home.
Poor Maria Schmidt there, head in hands, hopefully off to go cheer herself up with a scone. And as we cut to the Danish national anthem, a brief reminder that if you want to tell the English team what they did wrong, we'll pass on the messages through our twitter, @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!
F/X - English national anthem.