All of the words said out loud for S02E33 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Bah weep graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong? Sorry, just testing out what I think the new Library greeting is, I mean hello there. Please just wait by the door a moment while I get all the safety equipment ready. Feel free to help yourself to a cup of Bancha while I'm getting these bits out.
Now I'm aware you're used to wandering into our Library of Audio Fiction, and just picking up any dramas, books, stories, actual plays or a few other things you might be interested in, but we've recently changed our safety processes due to the new situation, so you'll need to follow all of the rules.
Oh, you don't know about the situation?
Okay, fine, well, I only skimmed the memo, but as far as I can tell, the Director has got a new action figure, of some sort of giant robot. Apparently it transforms from a robot into a moon? Although having googled it, it looks more like some sort of space station to me.
Anyway, as far as I can tell, it's tremendously expensive. I think she got it especially imported from South Africa? She's very protective of it.
But that means we've all got to be very careful. There's special gloves so that we don't accidentally touch the robot, masks, to stop us from breathing on the robot, and then goggles, to...I guess stop us looking at the robot?
Honestly, I don't know why she doesn't just put it behind a velvet rope.
Makes me a bit jealous of you visitors, only having to wear the gear when you're visiting. I've got to wear it all the time, or at least all the time anyone happens to be looking. Doesn't she realise that freedom is the right of all sentient beings?
Anyway, I've been trying to get into her mindset, so I've been listening to this show about someone who put a robot brain in their car, this show about three robots having adventures, and this show about robots being used for war.
That's helped a bit, but I'm still very worried that I'm supposed to have provided some sort of orbital launch system to it, because everyone's been asking me whether I've got the booster yet.
Got all the gear on? Ready to roll out? Excellent. In you come then. I'm afraid I've not yet got all the shows out from behind their safety barrier, so you'll have to enjoy these new trailers instead.
First, it's Tubular Teens with Titans, an episodic dramedy about a group of teens who traverse real life dramas while balancing the responsibility of keeping the world safe from a subterranean threat.
[CLIP - Tubular Teens with Titans]
The Librarian: Then, Modem Prometheus, a podcast of modern folktales. These are the stories of the kerbside, the transmitter mast, the shadows between buildings.
[CLIP - Modem Prometheus]
Voice: There is a hashtag: #huntingparty.
It does not trend. No influencers make witty 140-character quips about it. No armchair journalists offer hot takes. No politicians try to ride it for relevance.
You have to search for it.
In the City, people are searching. They search in the lounging, lazy suburbs. They search in the estates of Romanesque tenements. They search in schools and startups and stations and shopping centres. A lot of people are searching.
In a room decorated with band posters and starmaps, Mustafa taps into his phone. His father forbade him from joining the hunting party. His mother, remembering the rush of her own first kill at a similar age, the crack of bone under her fingertips, the blood smeared across her forehead – she whispered to him how to find it.
She will not join this year, instead distracting Mustafa’s father so he doesn’t realise his son is gone.
Because the hunt is coming.
The Wild Hunt is coming.
Modem Prometheus is an upcoming podcast of modern folk tales.
Follow us on Twitter, @ModemPrometheus, subscribe on spotify, or youtube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join us for the hunting party, on October the 31st.
The Librarian: And this week's RPG, Roll Plenty. Follow the cast as they journey through perilous adventures, conquer vicious monsters and make tonnes of trouble for themselves. NOW PLAYING: The Capewick Cassettes. The mysteries of history are deadlier than ever...
On the sleepy English seaside of the late 90s, unfamiliar neighbours become an unlikely team. Join the five of them for laughs, thrills and misrepresented British history as they fight to save Capewick.
[CLIP - Roll Plenty]
Narrator 1: Visit Capewick!
F/X - VHS tape loads and plays.
F/X - Upbeat fanfare plays.
Narrator 1: Situated on the mid North East coast of England, Capewick boasts a rich history dating back to before even the Romans set foot on our island.
Visit the high street where you can find a variety of homegrown, independent shops, eateries and historical sites.
Take a walk along the beach, enjoying Capewick Cove, exploring the very foundations of our town by looking at the cliff faces, caves and strata that make up our Earth.
Venture further out of town to some of the ancient Celtic stone circles and Civil War battle sites.
See the final resting place of Sir Tobias Tottle.
Finally, wrap up your trip with a visit to Capewick Castle and historical village. Enjoy an afternoon learning how to be a Roman soldier in a fort, take part in daily life in a bustling Celtic settlement and learn about the full history of Capewick in one of the oldest castles in the world.
Maybe you'll even get a chance to meet the museum's curator, Professor Terrence Froden. Oh, there he is now! What are you working on today, Professor?
Prof: Well, I've been diving into the pre-history of Capewick, and I've been slowly uncovering more and more evidence of some ancient religion or at least consistent idol worship-
Narrator 1: That's very exciting, isn't it? So come visit Capewick...
F/X - Tape static.
Ruth: Ah, Bert, I don't suppose you've seen my Ashley, have you?
Ash: Oh- don't look there...
Owen: Have I just walked into these two having finished committing a murder?
GM: You see this man, he has been... Gutted. By some kind of... thing.
Seb: Oh! Hello! Ah... Mr. Crisp! I didn't expect to see my landlord today!
Owen: I grab you by the lens of the camera.
Ash: We just need to get to a phone!
GM: We see the briefest flash of a shadow move.
Ruth: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Seb: I don't think it's safe to be in here.
Owen: Do not open the door.
Ruth: I weren't going to, love!
GM: And all four of you hear boots on the ground coming closer to the village.
Ash: Don't tell on us. Don't tell on us.
F/X - Creature bellows.
The Narrator: The town that literally bleeds history.
Music - Spooky theme music plays.
Narrator 2: Roll Plenty, The Capewick Cassettes, is an Actual Play RPG podcast using the Monster of the Week system, created by Michael Sands and published by Evil Hat Productions.
Set in a sleepy English seaside town during the late 90s, where four neighbours harbouring secrets will come together to stop their home being consumed by the very history it was built on.
Join us every other week for laughs, thrills and misrepresented British history.
The Librarian: And finally Wolfwhistle. In 1934 New York City, two idealistic radio hosts battle shadowy forces for the soul of America.
[CLIP - Wolfwhistle]
The Librarian: Right that's your lot for this week. We'd best get out of here before the Director realises I've been talking about the robot, let alone thinking about it. She's more than meets the eye, I can tell you!
If you did want to ask the Director about her robot you can do so via our twitter account, it's @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!