All of the words said out loud for S03E03 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Hello there! Please come in. But, b efore you sit down, you're not here to take your show out of the catalogue of Audio Fiction are you?
Ah, good. Not a creator, just a listener. You're fine then.
Sorry, it's just for some reason, we've had a few people this week wanting us to stop holding their audio fiction. They've taken their dramas, books, stories, actual plays and a few other things out of the Library, and won't give them back.
I've had to take down this show about someone setting up a new society underwater, this show about magic poetry, and this show about telling the truth.
No idea why, but it sounds like we've got a young lady on staff who's offended them. I've checked the roster, but I don't think we've got a Miss Information. Possibly she's an intern.
Anyway, that's put something of a downer on what was otherwise an excellent week. See, I've just come back from the world's premiere audio fiction convention, "Fiction Alley", and I was a guest on one of the panels. Been listening back to my greatest hits. Here, listen:
F/X - A cassette tape is played. Booing occurs.
No, I wouldn't worry too much about normalising your volume. People have got controls, they can always turn it down. And if possible, you want adverts to be even louder. They won't forget you yelling "get a chip butty in a box!" at them.
F/X - Cassette tape is fast forwarded.
F/X - A cassette tape is played. Booing occurs.
No, don't bother crediting everybody. I mean, "producer"? What even is that?
F/X - Cassette tape is fast forwarded.
F/X - A cassette tape is played. Booing occurs.
I think random background noises can be fun. If you get a siren in your recording by accident, just incorporate it. Have your character say "look out, the fuzz!" or maybe "quick shipmates, tie me to the mast!" depending on genre.
F/X - Cassette tape is stopped.
I think that went very well indeed. Hoping to do it again next year.
Unfortunately, looking at your list here, all the shows you wanted, have been taken out of the Library. Um, so, sorry?
But I have got a collection of new trailers. Perhaps those will do?
First, Calamity, in which Calamity Jane guides a theatre troupe across hostile lands, while fleeing the ghosts of her past.
[CLIP - Calamity]
Barkeep: Hey Keema, the usual?
Keema: Aye, you know it!
Ah, nice music. Who'd you con into playing here?
Barkeep: Hey she's new! made the trek from Cerro Gordo. So don't scare her away!
(Keema Laughs)
Alice: oooo, oooo, and I'm waiting for you to rise again...
Keema: Ah hell no!
F/X - Footsteps on sand.
Alice: Keema wait!
Please, I need to see her. I heard the theatre troupe came by here last--
Keema: You heard wrong, Alice.
Alice: Keema. Where is she? Where's Jane?
Keema: Jane's dead songbird.
Do yourself a favor and go sing at her funeral.
F/X - Horse galloping away.
Wild Bill: Calamity, premieres January 25 on all major podcast platforms.
Alice: 'Cause I'm waiting for you to rise again...'
The Librarian: Then, Small Victories. A recently recovered drug addict tries to start her new lease on life, too bad life has it out for her. This dramatic comedy follows Marisol through the ups and downs of a week in her life.
[CLIP - Small Victories]
The Librarian: And this week's RPG, Rolling with Difficulty. Throughout the Planescape there are countless wars between good and evil, lawful and chaotic. Forces of great power shift the very nature of reality. These are not their stories... Join the crew of the Per Aspera as they make a living in the expanse of the scape. No job is too odd, no region too remote for this motley crew of adventurers. From the fiery City of Brass to the winding woods of the Feywild, they'll go wherever the day takes them aboard their trusty Spelljammer.
[CLIP - Rolling With Difficulty]
The Librarian: And finally, Burning Bayou, a narrative crime mystery series about the epic hunt for the killer of two teen boys in a fishing community ripped apart by a race war between newly-arrived Vietnamese refugees and local fishing laborers. Set outside New Orleans in the '80s, the podcast follows Cheryl Carter, a rookie FBI agent and Vietnamese adoptee to a white American family, and her partner Mac Watson, a Black special agent and a Vietnam War veteran, as they investigate this volatile case that changes the lives of everyone in the Gulf town... including their own.
[CLIP - Burning Bayou]
The Librarian: And that's that. If you want to encourage people to stop taking their show out of the Library, please shout at them on twitter. I think it's the best place for rational debate. We're @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!