All of the words said out loud for S03E06 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Hello there! Come in, and help yourself to a Whiskey sour. Yes, not quite the usual, but I'm allowed it under the new rules.
Welcome to the Storage Space of Things That Definitely Aren't True, Said Out Loud. It may look remarkably similar to, but is legally distinct from, the Library of Audio Fiction. If you want, I can still lend you plays, novels, quick tales, RPGs and a few other things, but importantly, the rules on late fees aren't quite the same.
For instance, if one of the staff members, say a "Person Who Gets New Stuff-er", doesn't return things in time, perhaps because they thought they were in charge and the rules didn't apply to them, there are generally fines. Like most people, they would have to pay charges, which go up as long as they have borrowed the show for. Say they borrowed a show about the murderous precursor to all species, or one about people wandering through afterlives, or one about clones made to catch an assassin.
They might have had those shows a very long time, almost as long as the Library's been around, and amassed a small fortune in late fees. Perhaps a value equivalent to - coincidentally - this year's bonus. But if instead of being in the Library of Audio Fiction, they were in an embassy-like space such as this, they might not owe those fees.
A perfect system. Nothing can go wrong.
As long as I have no reason to leave this square metre of office, everything is perfect. Oh by the way, while you're stood there, I don't suppose you could pass me the packet of digestives? I forgot to pick them up, and I can't quite reach. No it's fine, the mousetrap my boss put on them almost certainly won't get you.
Please? Just mind your fingers?
Okay, fine, be like that. I'm sure I'll find some food around here eventually. In the meantime, I think I'll try and fight off the hunger pangs by listening to a few trailers. At least I remembered to bring those with me. Would you like to listen as well? One problem, I've not got a permanent export license, so when I've played them at you, you'll need to recite them back to me so it only counts as a temporary export. I'm sure you can do all the voices, right? How are you at making sound effects? Ah, it'll be fine.
First, Haunted. Something is coming. It's coming over the airwaves. Nobody knows what The Signal is or where it is coming from, only one thing is clear; once you hear it, it's already too late. Abigail Corbin is a chatterbox podcast host who believes that The Signal might have a supernatural source. To help her investigate, she tracks down renowned paranormal investigator James Hunter, now living as a reclusive alcoholic. The two form an unlikely partnership as they investigate all things unexplained, spooky and potentially life-threatening.
[CLIP - HAUNTED: The Audio Drama]
The Librarian: Then, Kingdom, a fantasy story.
[CLIP - Kingdom]
The Librarian: And Atlas of Angelon, a sci-fi horror mini-series audio drama which follows two astronauts as they journey outside the solar system--and the publicist who already knows their voyage is doomed. The ship will explode, killing both astronauts. But why it explodes is the trickier part.
[CLIP - Atlas of Angelon]
The Librarian: And finally, Falling Star Radio. Birdy, a pirate radio host living under a dictatorship, was always made fun of for blabbing about conspiracy theories instead of "what's really going on." But when he's told that aliens have taken over the government, he’ll stop at nothing to expose the truth, take down President Star, and finally show people exactly what's been going on right under their noses! All he needs is an actual audience...
[CLIP - Falling Star Radio]
The Librarian: Right, that's your lot for this week. If you feel like joining my country, just use the application form on our Twitter. It's @AudioDramaDebut.
Anyway, cheerio!