All of the words said out loud for S03E07 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Hello there comrade! Come in, come in. I would offer you something, but unfortunately this week, it seems like I'm all out of biscuits.
What's that? You've brought your own confectionery? Oh, excellent, well done. In that case, take a seat here, and you can finish this game with me. I started playing with one of the other Librarians, but they had to dash off.
Apparently they got a call on their phone about a fire in the Library. At least, that was their excuse, I just think they didn't like how much they were losing.
Anyway, I think your side should still be set up correctly, and I've not looked at it, so we're probably okay to go.
They'd just placed F4, so there should be a pin in your board for that, and it's my go now.
B7. Nothing? Curses. Alright then, your turn.
F5? Rats, that's a hit. My colleague and I had been playing for shows, so at this point I would have given my opponent this show about invaders from Mars. Don't worry, if I hit your fleet, I won't expect the same.
I2. No? Are you sure you actually have a fleet?
F6. Yes, that's another hit, and would have been this drama about historical bombing crews.
D6? Good lord, my information is terrible.
Go on then, yes, F7 is a hit. That's my battleship sunk. And I think we'll call it there, with this show following a Klingon/Federation war.
Alas, I don't really have much time this week, so if it's all the same to you, I'll just play you a few trailers?
First, Marigold Breach. After crash-landing on a mysterious planet with no memory and a sentient AI implant in his brain keeping him alive, a soldier searches for answers about his past. There are only four things Lucan knows with certainty: his name, his rank, that the droll AI implant speaking to him inside his mind is named Ven, and finally, that she is the only thing keeping him from dying. With no other memories or connection to their pasts, Lucan and Ven must navigate their new reality on an unknown planet split into warring factions.
[CLIP - Marigold Breach]
The Librarian: Then, SOLAR. Disconnected from Earth and trapped on s eparate parts of their spacecraft, crew members must fight for survival following a disaster on board the ill-fated Aethon, a manned solar research probe sent to explore temporal distortion around the sun. As painful memories, forgotten dreams, technological challenges and blunt realities collide--they must work together to keep their hope alive in the face of growing darkness.
[CLIP - SOLAR]
The Librarian: And Still Live At Midnight, a cosy comedy-drama set in 1980 in the world of late-night local radio.
[CLIP - Still Live At Midnight]
The Librarian: And finally Chaika, a science fiction drama about loss, isolation and hope, where a woman navigates a post-apocalyptic future.
[CLIP - Chaika]
The Librarian: And that's that. If you want to play again, feel free to...
F/X - An oscillating sound groans into existence.
What the devil is that? Forming out of nothing...is that one of our listening booths? But it looks wrong somehow - is that plastic? What happened to all the lovely mahogany?
F/X - A door slams open.
The Future Librarian: Hello there!
The Librarian: You?
The Future Librarian: Me!
The Librarian: Wait, what's the secret Twitter handle of the Library?
The Future Librarian: @AudioDramaDebut!
The Librarian: Me!
The Future Librarian: Yes, you. Welcome from the future! Oh, and you've got a visitor. And they've brought sweets! Thanks, I love a jelly baby.
The Librarian: Okay, I know it's you, er me, but what are you doing here, and just, what?
The Future Librarian: I bring you a trailer! See, it will be released on RSS feed, but only in the future. For now it's just on BBC Sounds. So I thought I'd pop back, and just let you have it now. A bit unorthodox, but as Wodehouse will tell you, aunties are forces of nature.
The Librarian: Alright then, give me the tape...
The Future Librarian: No tapes my boy, in the future we've an incredibly advanced new technology. We call this the CD. A shiny disc, that can hold lots of audio. Here we go, it's the trailer for...
[Clip - Doctor Who: Redacted]
The Future Librarian: And now I must return to the future. So I'll just sit over here if that's alright?
The Librarian: Aren't you traveling back?
The Future Librarian: I'm afraid my listening booth can only go back in time, so I've got to get to the future the traditional way - waiting. Don't worry, I've brought a book, I'll just sit quietly in the corner.
The Librarian: Can you not sit in your booth? Wow, no, there is basically no space in there. I'd swear it's actually smaller on the inside. Fine, sit there, but no taking my biscuits.
And you, best to ignore all of this. Anyway, cheerio!