All of the words said out loud for S03E16 of Audio Drama Debut, my podcast showcasing new audio drama, fiction and RPG trailers.
F/X - Fountain pen writing, and then being capped.
The Librarian: Hello there.
Welcome once again to the Library of Audio Fiction. It's been closed for a while, mostly over the holiday period, and we're now undertaking a bit of a refurbishment, so this will be the last time you can access trailers through the trailer machine. Instead we've "modernised", and there's now an RSS feed that only includes the trailers, not me. If you search "Audio Fiction Trailers" in your podcatcher, you should be able to find it.
The Library is likely going to stay open, but in a different form. That's not been figured out yet, but we're hopeful. But for now at least, here's the last three trailers from the trailer machine.
First, Night Life. On the eve of San Guine City’s mayoral elections, vampire hunting detective Beatrice Janeaway teams up with a gangster boss to investigate the political interference of her arch-nemesis Carmella: a vampire activist with nefarious intentions.
[CLIP - Night Life]
The Librarian:Then, The Smartlys. Eric and Shelley Smartly win $300 million and retire as royalty of the Minnesota Renaissance Faire. They buy a beachfront complex in San Diego. Adare dates a psychic. Fetch struggles with drinking, and everyone vies for the family fortune.
[CLIP - The Smartlys]
The Librarian:And finally, Day 1 Of The End Of The World, a collection of first-hand accounts and stories of what happened on the first day of the zombie apocalypse. The Day 1 oral history collection showcases the human elements, the chaos, the heroism, and the tragedy, as seen through the eyes of people from around the world.
[CLIP - Day 1 Of The End Of The World]
The Librarian:Right, that's your lot for this week, and forever. Don't forget, you can see every new fiction podcast on our twitter account, @AudioDramaDebut, and search our database at audiofiction.co.uk
Anyway, cheerio!
Me: Oh don't be sad - here, have some more of our secret security tapes, they might cheer you up.
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat (with an alien voice): So, how's the weather?
Me (badly Northern): On Earth, or whatever alien planet you come from?
SkittyCat (with an alien voice): On Earth, you nincompoop.
Me: Bit grey. I mean it's Yorkshire it's always raining, I mean Lancashire, Lancashire, Lancashire's the best, not Yorkshire. Shut up Yorkshire.
SkittyCat (with an alien voice): Where in the UK are we supposed to be? Is it not all London?
Me (badly Northern): No? Absolutely not, how very dare you. Calling me soft and southern.
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat: The only reason I can do this voice is because my throat hurts.
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat (very croaky): Frog sounds?
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat (croakily singing): I can be brown, I can be blue, I can be violet sky, I can be purple, I can be helpful, I can be anything you like.
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat (with an alien voice): We have travelled for several of your Earth years to conquer the planet, and take all of your most valuable resource.
Me (badly Northern): T'gold? But dad mined that, and then mine closed and went on strike and then Thatcher happened and it was just the worst.
SkittyCat (with an alien voice): The fuck are you going on about?
Me (badly Northern): Thatcher. The worst.
SkittyCat: Why would you do that?
Me: I don't know Thatcher, why would you close the mines?
SkittyCat: Stop it.
Me: 'Cause she hated the North...
F/X - Cassette player being clicked on.
SkittyCat: Beep boop, Security (laughs) no you're not leaving, byeee!
F/X - Cassette player being clicked off.